Misunderstandings
by nt'kit
Summary: Because misinterpretations will happen in the worst possible situations, and Luffy being Luffy will just worsen things for Zoro.
1. Chapter 1

I've just realized that I like to write about this kind of situations… they are just too funny. Even though, this is the first time I'll actually elaborate about it so… I'm not really sure how this will turn out. I'm hoping for funny :P

Rated T for pervert! Sanji/Nami/Usopp

Summary: Because misinterpretations will happen in the worst possible situations, and Luffy being Luffy will just worsen things for Zoro.

I expect this story to be a two-shot! Maybe three if I get carried away… so here's part one!

Yes, I do own One Piece (Please note the sarcasm).

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><p>Slowly… slowly… <em>slowly…<em>

"What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Gah!"

Luffy jumped, twirled in the air and glared at the swordsman while clutching that part of his shirt where his heart was located. Zoro stared, unfazed by the menacing glare his captain was giving him while rocking himself in the hammock pushed by his right leg. His eyes then traveled to the boy's left hand, which was clutched around the handle of one of his swords. His eyes narrowed. "Why is your hand holding my sword, Luffy?" Zoro asked, his rocking stopping only to sit down and glare at the black haired boy.

"I wanted to play swordsman!" Luffy answered in a matter-of-factly tone which only encouraged the slight twitching of the green haired man's left eyebrow.

Zoro's eyes narrowed even more, and Luffy instinctively moved out of the swordsman's range; guessing accurately as he turned back, and stared in horror that where he was standing a few seconds ago, was now a pissed off Zoro. A very, _very_ pissed off Zoro.

"Give me my sword." Zoro growled, taking a few steps forward to which Luffy took some back.

"No!" Yelled Luffy before running away from the fuming swordsman. "Get away from me!"

"Give me my sword!"

And so the chase began, Luffy running in circles around the men's quarters while Zoro chased right behind him. After a few minutes Zoro finally had it, and in one swift move he launched forward, tackling down the smaller boy and landing successfully on top of him, pinning him in place with both legs at his sides. Zoro smirked.

"Zoro! Get off of me!" Luffy yelled, flailing his arms in the air carelessly and idiotically forgetting that at the moment he had a very sharp sword in his possession.

Zoro evaded Luffy's aimless punches easily, trying to get the sword off the boys clutches in the process. Exasperated, he punched Luffy on the stomach, managing to surprise the boy and making him throw the sword in the air. Neither of them could stop what happened next, Zoro, too concentrated on holding Luffy in place barely noticed that he didn't have the sword anymore, he looked around him, trying to find where it had landed and swearing that if something happened to it he would personally kill the captain. Then, a sharp yell grabbed his attention.

"OW! IT HURTS!"

Zoro looked down to his captain and stared in horror. His sword had landed in between Luffy's legs, the sharp end down and stabbing itself in the wooden floor. He could feel his face going pale by the second; did his sword just cut Luffy's…? He leaned over slightly, the smaller boy still trapped between Zoro's legs, and he sighed out in relief. There was a mysterious power that protected his captain, definitely.

The sword had cut Luffy's inner thigh, thankfully a few inches away from his manhood. Luffy whimpered slightly, grabbing the swordsman's attention. "Zoro, it hurts…" Luffy said, placing his hands over his mouth and muffling his words.

He stared apologetically to the raven haired boy. "All right Luffy, I'll take it off slowly." Zoro grabbed the handle of his sword and with as much care as he could muster, he detached the sword from the ground and out of Luffy's flesh. The smaller boy let out a hiss of pain, but managed to contain himself from screaming out bloody murder.

Zoro left the sword on the floor and watched the wound of the boy beneath him for a few seconds. He saw how blood started to taint his captain's blue shorts; if he didn't do anything soon it would get infected. "Luffy, I'm gonna take off your shorts."

"Why?" Was the reply of the confused captain.

"So I can get a better look."

"Oh, okay."

Zoro got off of Luffy and helped the younger boy up afterwards. He kneeled down to be at the level of his injury and unbuttoned the shorts, drawing down the zipper and finally pulling down the blue shorts to reveal Luffy's red boxers with meat drawings in it.

Zoro stared.

Just where the hell did that boy buy his underwear? Shrugging that thought aside he took a good look at Luffy's bleeding wound. Thankfully, it wasn't too deep, and it seemed that the blood wasn't pouring down his leg anymore. He would disinfect it first and bandage it, then he would send Luffy to Chopper.

"Can you walk?" Zoro asked, watching the boy try and take a step forward and hiss in pain afterwards. He sighed, carrying the boy bridal style and sitting him on top of a drawer.

"Why did you place me on top of the drawer?" Luffy asked innocently, watching as the swordsman fumbled through Chopper's emergency medical kit.

"So I can do this easily." Was Zoro's reply; he kept looking, he was sure Chopper had some cotton here… "Ah, here's some ointment…" he mumbled to himself, he looked a bit further and found the bandages.

"Ne, Zoro, will it hurt?"

Zoro walked over to Luffy, placing the medicines at the boy's side before smiling gently. "A bit, but I'll try to be gentle, all right?"

Luffy nodded, keeping one eye tightly closed while the other watched the swordsman intently as he wetted the cotton with one of Chopper's medicines. He pressed the cotton at Luffy's wound, adding slight pressure while rubbing slightly.

Luffy's eyes shot open at the feeling, he could feel a stinging sensation run down through his leg, and he didn't like it one bit. "Ah Zoro! It hurts!" Luffy yelled, grabbing on to the edge of the drawer.

"Hold on, Luffy," Zoro said, he clearly didn't like being the one hurting his captain. "Just a bit more…"

"No Zoro! Take it away!"

Luffy started to trash around, waving his free leg furiously while the other was being held in place by Zoro's free hand. He gave the wound one last rub before finally getting the offending cotton away from Luffy. "There!" He said triumphantly, watching how Luffy calmed down instantly.

Zoro stared at the wound some more, it didn't look as bad as before, without all that blood around it. Right now it was just fairly big, red and swelled. He heard Luffy whimper slightly and Zoro automatically shot up, ruffling the boy's hair affectionately. "The worst part is over, now I'll just finish this, okay?"

"O-Okay." Luffy said, pouting slightly but staying still nonetheless. He knew Zoro, he wouldn't hurt him on purpose, and he knew he was just trying to help. "If you say it will help me, it's all right, I trust you." He said, giving the swordsman his trademark grin.

Zoro smiled, he grabbed the ointment and started to spread the white substance against the wound. "It feels weird." Luffy said, to which the older male gave a low chuckle.

"Just give it some time, you'll get used to it soon."

Luffy nodded, this was definitely better than that stupid cotton and its stupid medicine. He watched intently as Zoro rubbed the ointment into his leg. It felt weird at first, but then he felt how the area Zoro treated started to cool down, then Zoro added much more force than necessary.

"Zoro!" Luffy yelled, throwing his legs in the air and successfully kicking the bottle of ointment out of Zoro's grasp.

"Gah! Luffy!" He wiped the white substance from his mouth before grabbing the ointment from the floor and covering it, then he glared at Luffy, demanding an explanation.

"You're being too rough!" Luffy whined, pouting and crossing his arms over his chest.

Zoro sighed, getting the bandages and grabbing Luffy's leg once more. "Lift your leg a bit." He ordered.

"Like this?"

"Perfect."

Zoro started to bandage Luffy's leg expertly, Luffy just started in awe. A few moments later the swordsman was done with the boy, he nodded at his work and turned his head to Luffy, who was at the moment, sleeping. Zoro's eye twitched once again. "Luffy!" He yelled.

"Ah!" The boy woke up with a start, turning his eyes to the angry swordsman and then to his now bandaged leg. "Wow! Zoro's really good!"

Zoro smirked while helping the boy down. "Here, let me help you with your shorts." Luffy nodded contently, placing his legs where Zoro told him to and letting him pull up the zipper and button up his blue shorts. He patted the boy affectionately on the head before helping him to the door. "Go with Chopper so he can check you up."

Asdfghj

Sanji stretched himself lazily. Today was such a nice day, the sky was clear, the gentle rocking of the waves moved the Going Merry ever so slightly… but oddly enough, it was really quiet. Not that he complained, though. Maybe he'll go and give his beloved Nami-san and Robin-chan a cup of tea later, just before dinner was ready.

He added the last ingredient to dinner and lowered the flame, covering the pot and letting it rest for a while. It would be another hour till dinner was ready, so what better than to take a small nap? He took out one of his cigarettes and placed it lazily on his mouth before grabbing a match and lighting the white stick. He wondered vaguely if his normally loud captain was sleeping in the men quarters since he was nowhere to be seen. The same could be told about Zoro but… who cared about the marimo head, right?

Sanji yawned loudly when turning to the corner to open the door of the boy's room, but before his hand could reach the handle a loud noise grabbed his attention. Then there was a loud 'thump'.

"What the –"

"_Zoro! Get off of me"_

Sanji blinked. That was Luffy's voice… get off? What was that stupid moss head doing on top of Luffy?

His thoughts were interrupted once more by some rustling and a yell, Luffy's yell.

"_OW! IT HURTS!"_

Again, what was going on? Sanji furrowed his brows in concentration, maybe he should just go inside and see what was going on…

"_Zoro, It hurts…"_

That was once again Luffy's voice, he was whimpering… but why did it sound so… muffled?

"_All right Luffy, I'll take it off slowly."_

Now that was Zoro's voice! So he was with the captain; just what were they – wait, _take it off slowly_? But… that just could be anything, right? I mean, Luffy could've been running around and fell and stabbed something in his finger, so Zoro was just helping him, _right_? Then why the hell did he find it so damn hard to get inside that room!

"Hey Sanji, you okay?" Sanji turned around sharply at the sound of his name. He regretted it soon after when his neck started to ache. "You look kinda pale."

"Ah U-Usopp! Y-Yeah, everything is f-f-fine!"

Usopp stared at the blond cook with concerned eyes. Sanji, stuttering? Yeah right. Something was definitely NOT okay. "Uh… all right, I'll just go in and get my –"

"_Luffy, I'm gonna take off your shorts."_

Usopp stopped mid sentence, staring at the door disbelievingly for a few moments. Heh, funny. He just thought he heard Zoro telling Luffy that he'll –

"_Why?"_

"_So I can get a better look."_

Okay, scratch that, he just _heard_ Zoro telling Luffy that he'll –

"_Oh, okay."_

WHY DID LUFFY OBLIGE SO QUICKLY? Usopp turned around slowly, he could feel the color draining his face quickly, and by how Sanji kept gaping at the door, his cigarette now in the floor, he guessed he too was surprised. "Do you think they are…?"

Sanji glanced at the closed door once again. "I don't know…"

"_Can you walk?"_

They both instantly pressed their ears against the door, hearing some shuffling and a small thump.

"_Why did you place me on top of the drawer?"_

"_So I can do this easily."_

"I never thought they would ever do such a thing!" Usopp whispered, inwardly pressing his ear further into the wood.

"I didn't even know _Luffy_ knew this kind of things!" Sanji whispered back, hearing some shuffling in the room before –

"_Ah, here's some ointment…"_

A slight blush crept on both males faces. They should _so_ get away from there…

"What are you guys doing?"

"Shh! Nami! Not so loud!" Usopp hissed, making hand motions for Nami to get closer.

"Don't talk like that to Nami-san, you bastard!" Sanji whispered, but there was no menace in his words.

"What are you two going –"

"_Ne, Zoro, will it hurt?"_

Nami watched in confusion as the two males blushed harder.

"_A bit, but I'll try to be gentle, all right?"_

Ah, so that's why there were blushing. "What is he doing to Luffy!" Nami hissed, supporting a blush of her own.

"I don't know! We didn't even know that Luffy knew what was… that!" Of course Sanji wouldn't say such foul words in front of Nami.

"He doesn't!" Nami whispered back. "Last week he asked me how babies were born, and I didn't tell him!"

"Then Zoro's corrupting Luffy?" Usopp asked in shock, but the swordsman didn't look like the kind to abuse of his captain's innocence. He even seemed rather overprotective of him.

"_Ah Zoro! It hurts!"_

"That damned bastard, he's hurting Luffy!" Sanji said, a killer aura around him.

"_Hold on, Luffy, just a bit more…"_

Nami furrowed her eyebrows. "I always knew that over-protectiveness was suspicious."

"_No Zoro! Take it away!"_

"Is Zoro… forcing Luffy?" Usopp whispered, his face going even paler.

"_There!"_

All three stayed silent, wondering what (or rather who) had made all that trashing sound.

"_The worst part is over, now I'll just finish this, okay?"_

"_O-Okay."_

There was a pregnant pause in where the three eavesdroppers pressed their ears harder into the door.

"_If you say it will help me, it's all right, I trust you."_

"He told Luffy this was to help _him_?" Sanji whispered, his eyes were now wide open.

Nami crossed her arms. "Luffy's too naïve, of course he would comply."

"Yeah, but Zoro could've just taken a cold shower!" Usopp said before being silenced once more by Luffy's voice.

"_It feels weird."_

"_Just give it some time, you'll get used to it soon."_

Silence ensued on the room, and all three waited for something else to happen. And just when they thought everything was over…

"_Zoro!"_

They blushed, Luffy just _screamed_ Zoro's name.

"_Gah! Luffy!"_

"I can't believe he's actually tainting our innocent captain like that!" Sanji said, the blush still visible in his face.

"_You're being too rough!"_

"Oi Nami, are you okay?" Usopp whispered, watching the furiously blushing Nami.

She nodded. "I'm just wondering why they have to be so damn loud…" She sighed. "I hope Luffy's okay…"

"_Lift your leg a bit."_

The hell?

"_Like this?"_

"_Perfect."_

"And now he's ordering Luffy around?" Nami said. "How dare him!"

"Shh! Nami!" Usopp hissed, bringing his hand above the orange haired girl's lips. Sanji was too preoccupied over the captain and first mate's conversation to hit the marksman for treating roughly a lady.

"_Luffy!"_

The three instantly stilled, did Zoro actually… screamed Luffy's name?

"_Ah!"_

Now Luffy was screaming… and they will forever deny that he sounded dreamy, almost as if just being woken up.

"_Wow! Zoro's really good!"_

Silence, and then a sigh interrupted. "Are they… done?" Usopp wondered out loud. His answer came soon after.

"_Here, let me help you with your shorts."_

"That bastard's still trying to touch Luffy! The nerve!" Sanji whispered a little too loud, earning him a slap across the head from Nami.

"Keep it down Sanji-kun! I think they're… Oh! They're coming here!"

It was all it took for the three to rush out of behind the door, resulting on them tumbling over each other and falling face first a few steps away from the men's quarters. They heard the door they were previously glued onto being opened, and all three turned around to see Zoro and Luffy getting out of the room.

Oh, sorry, did I say Zoro and Luffy? I meant Zoro and a limping Luffy, who currently had a hand clutching his inner thigh, but from where the other three Straw Hats were laying at it seemed as if he was grabbing somewhere else. Yeah, you know where.

"What are you three doing down there?" Luffy asked, staring at his nakama with innocent curiosity.

They stared at Luffy with pity, tears could even be seen forming in their eyes. Then they turned to Zoro, that pity suddenly turned to raging anger and killing intent. Zoro took a step back, somehow he felt his manhood was in danger…

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><p>Alright! Part one done! I expect to get part two soon enough, mostly because I'm done with the next chapter of my other story, so I'll start writing it soon after I upload this, I don't want my inspiration to vanish XD<p>

How was it? Good? Bad? Meh?

Well I hope I made you smile a bit or at least entertained you for a while! Be alert for next chapter!

~nt'kit


	2. Chapter 2

According to FF, last chapter had 3,333 words... XD But back to the point! Part two! (Here's where everybody goes: Hooray!) That's right people, I managed to come up with chapter two! Am I just awesome or what? Hahaha I'm kidding, I'm just really happy today.

I love you guys, really, I got so many reviews and alerts and favorites… some of you even checked out my other stories! Aren't those guys awesome? I'm happy to see that all of you liked this, and even happier to see that most of you laughed! You made my day, really!

And **Dementra**, to answer your question, nope! But I'll make sure to read that! That title really got me in a giggling fit hahaha!

You know the disclaimer and stuff, if not, read last chapter!

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><p>"Hey, guys, are you okay? You seem flustered." Luffy asked the three people sitting (more like sprawled) on the deck.<p>

Nami was the first one to react; she got up and yanked Luffy away from Zoro, ignoring the yelp of pain the boy emitted before smothering him in a hug. "You monster!" She said glaring at a surprised Zoro. Then she pulled the suffocating Luffy away from her and, with her hands still firmly pressed against his shoulders, she asked kindly. "Are you okay, Luffy? Are you hurt?"

Luffy smiled, looking at Nami in the eyes before answering, "Yeah, I'm fine. Zoro helped me feel better."

Three pairs of eyes glared at the green haired swordsman.

"You sick, perverted bastard." Sanji said, nearing the confused – and quite scared – Zoro. "How dare you touch Luffy like that!"

Zoro stared at the blond cook as if he had grown a second head, and he was about to retort with an insult before being interrupted by Usopp. "You could've just taken a cold shower! You didn't have to take off your stupid needs on Luffy!"

Now Zoro was beyond confused. Where those two on crack? "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Don't act innocent!" Sanji yelled, glaring at the green haired man with all his might. "We heard everything!"

"Yeah!" Usopp backed up, pointing an accusing finger at Zoro. "Even when you said you were going to take off his shorts!"

Luffy tilted his head to the side. "Yeah, Zoro said he needed to take a better look so he took off my shorts."

Zoro blinked. Well he was just helping Luffy so he needed to do it, but hearing those words while being a third person, and without looking at the situation… He furrowed his eyebrows a bit. It _did_ sound kind of weird…

"What did he do then, Luffy?" Nami asked once again, her kind gaze never leaving the oblivious captain.

Luffy, somehow getting the (stupid) idea that his crew could get inside his mind and see that, indeed, he was just talking about a wound, decided to explain everything. "Well it was rather big…" Zoro turned around; his brain slowly digesting what was being said. "And I started to bleed…" Okay, the way he was telling it sounded just so… wrong!

Zoro opened his mouth in an attempt to clarify that Luffy was talking about his wound being rather big, but got interrupted before any word could get out his throat.

"You made him _bleed_?" Nami asked, a reproachful look on her eyes. She then let her gaze go down to where his manhood was located, ignoring Zoro's uncomfortable shifting, and then back at Luffy. "Did it hurt?"

Luffy nodded. "Yeah, at the beginning, but then Zoro smeared something here" He then pointed at his thigh, everyone's eyes bulged, obviously getting the wrong picture. "And after some time it didn't hurt that much."

"Wait! You're getting it all wrong!" Zoro interrupted. Why couldn't Luffy explain _properly_, damn it! "It was not –"

"Shut up, monster!" Usopp interrupted, and getting brave all of a sudden he smacked Zoro across the head.

"Luffy, what happened after he spread… that?" Sanji asked, hoping for the boy to continue.

Luffy turned at Sanji, confusion still in his eyes. "Well Zoro started to add more pressure, so I started to move too and then this white stuff flied all over the place, some of it was in Zoro's mouth too."

"It was _ointment_!" Zoro yelled desperately, Luffy was just making a mess out of this!

"How disgusting," Sanji said, glaring at the swordsman. "Calling it like that."

Zoro blushed before barking at the cook. "I'm not calling _anything_ like that, you damned cook!"

"And then Zoro finished and helped me get my pants on again!" Zoro's eyes felt like they've just had a frickin' growing spurt. Someone just _shut him up_! "It still hurts a bit though, I can't walk properly."

"He wasn't even gentle!" Nami said mortified, then she stared at Zoro. "Can't you even control yourself a bit? Being so rough on Luffy, shame on you!"

"You thought there wouldn't be a problem because he's made of rubber, didn't you?" Usopp said, glaring too, at the swordsman.

Zoro stared disbelievingly. His captain was an idiot, a complete and utter idiot. "That's not what happened!" He said, but he could as well be talking to a piece of wood for all the attention he received from the rest of the crew.

"I'm going to Chopper's." Luffy said, limping his way over to the small reindeer's office and leaving a stunned Zoro in a messed-up situation with some murder-capable people. Someone must really, really hate him.

He could feel the killing intent directed at him, and even if he would never admit it, it took him a lot of self control to stay on his spot and _not_ stutter. "I swear I didn't do anything to him!" Why did he leave his swords in his room?

"I knew it!" Nami said, clearly ignoring Zoro's statement. "I knew you weren't straight! But to actually force Luffy? How could you?"

He did not gape. Absolutely not… Did that witch just said what he thought she said?

"Yeah, that over-protectiveness towards Luffy wasn't normal." Usopp nodded, eyeing Zoro from head to toe.

Over-protectiveness? Well yeah, Luffy was an idiot that needed constant vigilance, of course he would develop some sense of protectiveness towards the normally oblivious boy, he was the first mate, after all, but this was just bordering the line of ridiculous! "I'm telling you I didn't do anything to him! He got hurt so I tended him!"

"Yeah right, you pervert." He did not like those words being called out from that shitty chef. "You just abused of his innocence and satisfied your needs, right? Even telling him that it was all 'to help him'!"

"Will you just _listen_ to what I'm saying!"

"And to think that I actually thought you two looked cute together…" Nami said. Once again, what was that witch talking about? "I will not accept your relationship until you apologize to Luffy! And he needs an explanation; he is not gonna be your sex toy, Roronoa."

Yep, someone hated him. Zoro stared at Nami with disbelief; he was definitely scarred for life. He liked the boy, sure; and he may think he's cute, who didn't? But to think of Luffy as his sex toy? That was just… even thinking about it screamed 'wrong' all over it! "I don't think of Luffy like that, woman! And I'm telling you! Luffy cut himself so I just helped him!"

"Oh really?" Usopp said, getting a flashlight out of nowhere before pointing it directly at Zoro's eyes. "We heard all that banging, Zoro-kun, and even though you told Luffy you'd be gentle he said you were rough on him!"

"You're all misunderstanding!" Zoro yelled desperately, just how much of a perverts were this crew?

"We do?" Sanji said, getting the flashlight from Usopp's grasp and pointing it at Zoro himself. "Then what about those screams, huh?"

"But that was because –"

"Did you tell Luffy to lift his leg to get better results? DID YOU?"

"I did!" Zoro said exasperatedly, spitting in the idiotic cook's face on purpose. "But it was to place a bandage where the bleeding was coming out! And get that flashlight off my face, damn it!"

"Nonsense!" Nami yelled, pointing a manicured finger at Zoro's throat. If he was a lesser man, he would've whimpered. "You abused of Luffy's innocence! I bet you tied him down with those bandages, didn't you?"

"Is everything okay?"

Four heads turned to the curious woman who stood a few feet away from them. It was quite a sight, actually. The normally calm and brave Zoro was now cornered by three of their nakama; if Robin guessed correctly, she could assume that he was scared to death. But what got her interest were the words they were yelling at him; something about him being a pervert, Luffy, and as it seemed by Nami´s previous statement, Luffy tied down with bandages.

"Zoro was horny and used Luffy to have man-babies!" Came the loud reply from Usopp, pointing at the aforementioned man to back up his point.

"I wasn't horny!" Yelled Zoro, a blush creeping up to his cheeks. "And I didn't do anything!"

"Oh my, wouldn't a cold shower have been better?" Robin asked, her eyes landing on the blushing swordsman. "I would've never thought you liked men."

"Really? I thought he wasn't straight from the first time I saw him!" Nami said, eyeing a gaping Zoro. "I mean, he has more piercings than I do, and he's rather obsessed over his body, don't you think?"

"I'm not obsessed over my body! I train to be the greatest swordsman! And I'm straight!"

"Then why did you do that to Luffy!" Usopp asked.

Zoro glared at him. "I'm telling you I didn't do anything!"

Robin chuckled, this had turned out to be quite an amusing conversation. "Where's Luffy-san?

"He's at Chopper's," Sanji answered. "He was limping and he said it hurt because this pervert was too rough on him."

"It was not like that! He hurt himself and I was helping him!"

"Don't lie to us!" Usopp yelled. "We heard you screaming out Luffy's name!"

Robin turned her gaze to a red faced Zoro, who was at the moment glaring at Usopp. "It was because he was trashing around too much!"

"You used _force_ on him?" Nami asked. "That's why he was bleeding!"

"He was bleeding because he _cut_ himself! And I used force to treat him!" Zoro replied, his hands twitching to get a hold of his swords.

"Ah, of course. So you just had to sit him in the drawer and tie him down with Chopper's bandages, didn't you!" Sanji said, hollering over the swordsman. "I didn't think you'd be the kinky type."

"Well, it's not hard to imagine him asking Luffy to dress as a maid or something like that." Usopp said, placing a hand over his shin.

Nami scoffed. "A maid, you have no imagination. Next time you should ask Luffy to dress as a slave, Zoro, with a collar and a leash maybe a whip too; telling him to beg and stuff, you know. I could get you some whipped cream if you want."

Zoro gaped, Nami was being too damn explicit! He could imagine Luffy like that and – gah! Stop it! "What are you talking about!" Zoro could feel his face burning with embarrassment, they were crazy! And they were all perverts!

Robin pondered for a moment, she knew Zoro was overprotective of Luffy, but he wouldn't do something like that to the captain, he cared too much for the boy's well being. So with a small 'excuse me' she went over to Chopper's office, leaving the rest of the crew to torture Zoro a bit more. "Luffy-san?" She asked after knocking a few times on the wooden door of the small doctor's office. "Are you there?"

"Yeah!" Came the energetic reply from her captain. "Come in!"

Robin did as told, and found a grinning Luffy in his boxers. Chopper was standing over his leg, and Robin saw Chopper placing a bandage expertly over the boy's thigh. "That looks kind of painful."

"Luffy got himself stabbed with one of Zoro's swords," Chopper said after finishing with the bandages. "So Zoro cleaned him up and disinfected the wound before Luffy came here."

Luffy grinned. "Thanks, Chopper." He said sheepishly while pulling his shorts up.

"Don't go running around too much, or the wound will open again." Chopper said while placing everything were it belonged. "It's too noisy outside…"

Robins chuckled, so this was just a big misunderstanding, Luffy must've explained things wrong and the crew thought Zoro did something to him. "Ah yes, they are all attacking Zoro-san for hurting Luffy-san."

Both Chopper and Luffy looked at the older woman confused, why would they do something to Zoro, he didn't hurt Luffy at all. "But Zoro treated me." Luffy said, following Chopper and Robin out of the small office.

"Yeah, but I think they heard captain-san scream, so they thought Zoro was hurting you."

Luffy ah'ed, going to the railing and leaning over it to see his nakama on the deck of the Going Merry; Sanji, Usopp and Nami surrounding Zoro, who had now his back against the mast. Chopper's eyes grew wide at the scene. "Oh no! They are attacking Zoro!" He said, and then he turned over to Robin with wide, desperate eyes. "Should I get my medical kit?"

"I don't think that's necessary." Said Robin while smiling kindly to the small doctor. "They are more like mentally scarring him." She added after hearing something that sounded like: 'You asshole better not have made it oral!', or something like that. She vaguely wondered how Sanji came to such conclusion.

"Zoro's making some funny faces!" Luffy said, watching how the color of his face changed rapidly to different tones of red with each sentence their nakama said.

"Shouldn't we stop them?" Chopper asked, concern dripping off his voice as he kept sparing glances towards Zoro.

As much as she would like to see how this turned out in the end, Robin nodded, leading Chopper and Luffy to the stairs and down the deck where the shouts of their crew became clearer. "Then how can you explain Luffy limping, eh!" Nami said, it seemed the conversation had, once again, turned to its original state.

"Because he got himself _cut_ with my sword!" Zoro said, a throbbing vein could be spotted in his forehead.

"I can't believe you call it like that," Usopp said, effectively bringing a blush to Zoro's face. "Wait, you know what? I actually do. Although I was sure you would name it after one of your moves you know? Like Oni –"

"Don't finish that sentence, moron!" Sanji said, kicking Usopp in the back. "There's a lady here!"

"Usopp!" Chopper yelled, going over to the marksmen who was currently face first on the wooden floor and clutching his bleeding nose.

Sanji and Nami glanced behind them, and a grinning Luffy and smiling Robin greeted them. "Luffy!" Sanji and Nami yelled in unison, going over to the still smiling boy. "Are you okay? What did Chopper tell you?" Nami asked first.

"Don't let Zoro have your man-babies, Luffy!" Usopp yelled from his position in the ground, earning a glare from Zoro.

"I'm fine!" Luffy said, "Chopper just changed the bandages Zoro placed, see?" He then lifted his short enough to let them see the bandages that surrounded his thigh.

"Why is your leg bandaged?" Sanji asked, confusion written all over his face.

"I told you, I was bleeding because I cut myself with Zoro's swords, so he helped me." Luffy said, wondering if his crew had brain damage, or something like that.

Usopp was the first to react, going over to where his captain was while ignoring Chopper's yells to stay put. "Wait but… we heard you scream!"

"Yeah well, that medicine burned a lot, and Zoro was being too rough!" Luffy answered, sending a small pout to his first mate.

"Then…" Nami said. "What about that white stuff flying all over the place?"

"It was _ointment_." Zoro said, stressing the word ointment while scowling at the perverted trio.

Sanji gulped, "So you two weren't…?"

"I told you I didn't do anything to him!" Zoro growled, glaring at the three dumbfounded perverts and hoping to crave a hole in their skulls.

"Wait, so this was all about a wound in Luffy's thigh?" Usopp asked, and they all watched as Luffy nodded and pointed his inner thigh, and not any other part of his anatomy as they had previously thought.

"I still have my doubts about your sexual orientation." Nami said while shrugging, she ignored the killer glare that Zoro sent her.

Luffy tilted his head to the side, completely confused over the whole thing. "It still hurts, though, it was rather big…"

"Your wound… right?" Usopp asked, just to be sure.

"Yep!" Bless his innocent self.

"Of course he's talking about his wound, as if the marimo would be that big." Sanji scoffed, angering the swordsman once more.

Zoro walked over to the blond man and grabbed him violently from the collar of his shirt. "What the hell are you implying, eh, shitty cook?"

"What do you think, stupid marimo? I'm saying that you are not big at all."

Nami and Usopp sighed, it seemed this had been a big misunderstanding; they would have to apologize to Zoro later.

Luffy stared at the quarreling duo, he was hearing their conversation and wondered about it himself. He eyed Zoro from head to toe and realized he was slightly taller than Sanji, meaning that he was taller than him. Then what was Sanji talking about? Of course Zoro was big! He needed to back up his first mate.

"What are you talking about? Zoro's really big!"

Three pairs of glaring eyes turned to the swordsman.

Zoro gulped. "IT'S NOT LIKE THAT!"

* * *

><p>Awright! I managed to make a two-shot! And that's it from this story (: I had fun writing this, really, I just love the idea of a cornered Zoro…!<p>

Well people, I hope you enjoyed this two-shot and that I at least entertained you a bit, if I managed to make you laugh or at least smile, then mission complete!

Until next time! Be good! (:

nt'kit


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